Thursday, April 19, 2007

To risk some controversy...

I just read this really great article
The part I was really interested in was what she said about Titus and the roles of men and woman she described some things in a way I had not heard before about mothering and so forth.
I'd love to hear any thoughts any of you have (even if they start a controversial conversation!;)
'grin' I'll start
... it is unbiblical for a man to give mothering advice.
(please do read the article before responding to this seemingly wacked statement.)


Rebekah said...

Wow. That was definitely an article worth reading. While I may not agree 100% (I think that fathers do have a place in the training/discipline of the children) I thought she raised a really good point by saying it really is none of men's business to dictate to a woman how she is to nurture her baby. What do you think?

Lynne said...

ok, since you asked... I do think fathers should have a say in raising their children, but I would call that fathering(!) and though as a couple should be in agreement about what they should do for their children as a unit, I do not beleive it is apropriate for him to tell her how to be a mother (as the article described--we have different instincts) if she does talk to him about what she's going through with her fussy baby he could help her think through what might be a problem and listen to her insights. Does your baby like to be held or seems to sleep best on a cushion on the floor or whatever.... every baby is different and if the mother is trying to be in tune with his or her needs then she will know best what to do. Most mothers lack the confidance to trust their own God-given intuition and might simply need to be encourage to trust what God has designed inside them rather than blindly following advice (there can be usefull advise from people, books, and yes even from men, BUT the problem is the following 'blindly'. Also, remember that women can be more easily desieved as Eve was before us.) Every time that I followed outside advise that went against my better judgment we have had so much heart ache and problems and lost sleep over, fortunatly I usually saw right away that it didn't work for Lily's personality... she was not being manipulative or unsotiable she was simply afraid, I not a bad overindulgiant mother to love her and comfort and pick her up when I know that she is tired or hungry or frightened or just lonely. (By-the-way, giving a hug and kind word is totally different than giving a child candy or a toy when they cry for it.) The best advise I ever got was from my Mom (after someone grabed Lily from me at 4 months old and informed me that she was teething, I was doing it wrong, and you have to walk with them... she didn't get a tooth till she was 9 months old, and was, as I knew, actually tired so much so that she fell asleep on a stranger!)

Lynne said...

My mom's advise was "You know your baby better than any one else." Simple perhaps, but SO helpful because I felt hurt and like I wasn't a good mother and couldn't trust myself to do the right things for my own baby, but in reality God created us just right and when we ever really don't know what to do we can pray (imagine how much happier we'd be to do that then feel judged or frightened by some book) we can ask God to give us what we need to keep going.
I've been contempating lately what it means to love ones husband and children when aligned with 1 Cor. 13... "Love is patient, love is kind.." So far I haven't gone much farther then that because just with those first two things I know I've fallen far short.