Birthday party!

Lily awoke to find a jungle of helium balloons to run through!

Then she opened a couple presents

(her favorite Veggietales movie and her princess/cars quilt.)

Then she saw a sheet in the corner that was covering something quite large and when she pulled off the sheet she found a play house!

She liked to go in and out and in and out and in and out....

Mommy had fun decorating the night before!

For lunch, we had one of Lily's favorite meals, one that we've only had a few times: Corn dogs and fries!

Later when the Hathaways came, Arayah and Lily thought the blueberries were pretty yummy.

The angelfood cake was heavenly.

Lily knew just what to do with the cake and candles!

She ate much cake, and the next day, we had the left-overs together, and she said "cake" quite clearly.

This is a picture of Lily ready to go on a walk with her new twin baby dolls from the Hathaways. Once she saw the snow outside and that Daddy was getting her stroller out, she changed plans and just put the babies in the bottom of the big stroller and put the doll stroller back in the house. We walked to Starbucks, and she played while Youssef and I played a game for a while.

I asked her yesterday if she was having a good birthday and she hugged her two new dolls tighter and said "yes" really quietly and happily. It was really sweet. :) Also, today when she saw the Hathaway's christmas picture on our fridge, she pointed at each person and said something that I didn't understand, but I could tell she knew them and was happy about seeing their picture! She had such a girly birthday what with the pink streamers and dolls and play house. All the girls happened to be dressed in pink too! Today, when Youssef and I were walking home from our trip to starbucks we were talking about her fun birthday and how when Renna is born there will be even MORE girls to play with. :) Youssef realized that maybe he should talk to Ryan and set up a monthly man movie night.

Youssef and I realized last night after the party and after Lily had fallen asleep that we'd forgotten to give her one of her presents! She was having so much fun playing with the dolls and other girls and I was working on dinner and we were having such a great time that all of a sudden she was tired and I'd totally spaced about that last present, but we'll give it to her today after her nap.

Lily is TWO!

Lily is two today (I started writing this post on the 4th), and it seems hard to believe sometimes. She's asleep right now in my arms. She slept for half of her nap by herself, and when she woke up, I held her and she fell asleep again (I watched a movie and finished tying a little quilt for her b-day.)

I've been reflecting a lot lately about how she's grown and what she's like. I understand her so much better now than I could when she was under a year. I finished reading a book by Dr. Sears called "Attachment Parenting," which described what I was doing with her all along. I just didn't know it had a name (see askdrsears.com to learn what AP means.) From the beginning, she slept next to me in the night (though I didn't know until now all the medical benefits for newborns that that provides). I nursed her when she asked (she never needed to cry hard or--even at all--most of the time because I responded to her pre-cry signals). I held her as much as I could and talked to her all the time. Her play was quite advanced for her age, and when she wanted to venture out on her own, I'd help her learn to be safely independent (as she ran through our yard at 9 months old).

Some people might think that I held her too much or spoiled her (like you could spoil a newborn who is only asking for their needs to be met,) and for a while, I wondered if she would have slept through the night better if I'd held her less, or maybe be less clingy if I let her get used to being without me more. Now looking back at the last two years, I can see more clearly.

Before she was 6 months old, I could put her in her saucer chair and mow the lawn for an hour before she'd indicate that she was hungry or wanted me. (We have a push lawn-mower. I'd put her outside in the chair, and we'd "chat" while I mowed). After 6 months, she wouldn't let me even go into the kitchen (even though she could see me) without freaking out that I was leaving her.

Okay, so what happened in that sixth month? One day, I went scrapbooking with some friends at Picture Pages (now closed *sigh*), and Youssef came to watch Lily. He put her in the stroller and took her on a walk. We assumed that she'd fall asleep in the stroller as she'd done in the past. Well, for whatever reason, she started to cry. Perhaps she just wanted to be held or maybe she was hungry, I wasn't there so I didn't know what her cry was saying. Youssef assumed that she'd calm down, but she didn't. Her cry became inconsolable because it wasn't listened to right away (Dr. Sears talks about the "crying curve"). Apparently, she'd been crying for an hour in the stroller before Youssef got back, and by the time he'd gotten back, she'd given up crying.

Some people might say that the baby needed to "cry it out," and that she'd get used to going to sleep without help. However, being her mother and caring for her 24-hours everyday for 2 years, I know that she was simply afraid. Her cry was her language, and no one responded. She was alone and didn't know if I'd ever be back or if she'd always be alone. To some children, they might bounce back from an experience like this, but Lily tends to be a more fearful child than some. She's always needed reassurance in new situations, even when she was a few months old. Some might think she's shy, and perhaps she is--I can understand that very well because I'm the same way. I was terribly fearful as a child (and shy much of the time though not always... I think I acted shy more out of fear than actual shyness... or is it the same?) That all seems silly looking back now because my mom stayed at home, and I had no real reason to be afraid. I can remember being 12 and knowing that there wasn't anything in the dark, but I still felt terrified (though I don't think anyone knew of my fear). By then, I'd learned to pray and knew God would protect me from anything. I held onto that and all the little things my Mom would say when I'd had a bad dream "Think about nice things. Like rainbows and kitties..." etc. I say that to Lily just like my Mom talked to me, and it really does seem to calm her in the night when she wakes up from a bad dream.

So, back to the reflection.

Each time I'd push Lily to do something (usually because of random bad advice) that she's not ready to do (like sleeping in her own room instead of with me or in her little bed by ours where she has been), it makes everything harder. It takes lots and lots of patience to allow her the time she needs to make the change without being scared. If I'm not patient, my life becomes so much harder. I'd always wonder if the advicse was really that great if it made everything so much harder. (But she just needs to get used to it, they'd say. But what if I liked how things were, says I.)

However, she is getting old enough now to understand when I tell her I'm going somewhere or need to leave her in her bed to put my PJs on or something and doesn't cry at my leaving anymore. I used to get so frustrated. After all, I'm coming back! I'm right there! What's the big deal? Even so, she didn't understand. To her, I might not ever come back. How could she know and understand concepts like that before?

All of this is mostly a reflection on my part to remember to go with my instincts with my own babies and not listen to people who give me advice when they've never had a child just like mine.

Maybe reading this will help someone to be confident in her mothering and learn to listen to your child's "cry" (even if it's silent). If I remember what I've learned in these past 2 years about listening and communicating, maybe Lily will still feel comfortable coming to me with what is troubling her even when she is 22. I hope that I will listen and respond to her fears and troubles appropriately and she'll know that I'll always be there for her.

And, by God's grace, when Renna is born, I'll learn to understand her baby language and signals too. I wonder what she'll be like? Maybe she'll be more outgoing like Youssef? Or most likely, she'll be her own person just like Lily is uniquely herself.

I'm so much happier when my goal is to understand and communicate well with my child instead of trying to get her to simply obey me or fit into my schedule. (There has to be a little of that, but without trust and understanding, I think it can become an obedience that isn't from the heart, which, isn't true obedience is it?)

And it really is such a fun adventure to discover who your children are, isn't it?

Our (usually) annual news letter

If you didn't get an envelope that looked something like this, we probably didn't have your address, or perhaps we don't like you and were trying to avoid you, but most likely we knew that you at least occasionally read our blog and thought we'd save the money of paper, ink, and stamps to let you see it on here. If you are the people in the last group we've decided to reward you (for saving us money AND reading our so incredibly interesting blog) by posting lots of new pictures that I don't think we've posted yet. If you happen to be someone that DID get this envelope and do read are blog annonymously we'd ask that you'd comment occasionally so that we might know that you don't hate us.

Merry Christmas! -- and Happy New Year!

Our year has been quite eventful. At the beginning of January, Youssef started working as an independent retirement advisor and came to discover in the next 7 months that he really didn’t like working for himself and the uncertainty of a commission paycheck.
The highlight during that time for him was that we learned how to make sushi from our then-tenants who had grown up in Japan. When Youssef was looking for another job in August, we found out that our tenants were going to move (as their school was shifting and, they wanted to be in a different location). This was quite sad for us because they had not only become good friends of ours, but we were in a time of financial transition because of Youssef’s job change.
However, as always, God provided a new tenant right when we needed one! Then Youssef got a job as a reporter for the Newport Miner Newspaper. He rediscovered his place in the world as a writer and realized again that writing is what God has planned for him. He is doing a wonderful job and every now-and-again gets complimented by someone in the community or in the office about how he writes and how he is raising the quality of the paper.
To make Youssef’s happiness complete, Lynné has taken over doing the bills and finances as his commute doesn’t bring him back in town till after bank hours. Our family is thriving in this new arrangement. Every day when Youssef comes home, Lily runs to the window and says “Daddy here!” over and over as she jumps on the couch. They have become quite close this year; she lets Youssef put her down to sleep – which helps Lynné rest at night. Lily also loves to have Youssef’s undivided attention as he plays with her and throws her in the air even before he takes his coat off.

Lily has grown up so much this year. She will be 2-years-old January 4th and is already so independent. When she wakes up in the mornings, she usually plays for a while by herself or will get her milk out of the fridge and put in her own video to watch! Lynné loves this as she can sleep an extra half-hour or so!
Lily will also get things out of the fridge and bring them to Mommy if she’s hungry. This usually works quite well, but on occasion little bags of cookies that were supposed to go in Daddy’s lunch may be found scattered around the house. One or two might be open and could have nibble marks on them. She’s a very good girl though, and we just find things like that funny as she’s showing her independence and doing things for herself.
Her special big girl jobs are to put her shoes in the basket by the door when we come in the house (she’s been doing that for most of the year) and recently she’s been putting her PJs away and throwing her own diapers in the garbage. She also helps Lynné clean up by taking toys to her own room when asked (though she usually comes back with another toy, but at least it’s being played with.) She really enjoyed going to lots of parks this year to play on the slides. She still loves books and sometimes she prefers to “read” them all by herself (she uses a lot of sound effects). She’s talking a lot more (though, not on command) and loves to help Mommy bake and do other projects! She’s also excited about her little sister coming in March! She likes to pat Lynné’s tummy and say “sis sis sis” and other babbling words that we can’t quite make out yet. We can all see how this is just the right time for Renna to come as Lily has grown so much closer to her Daddy and is learning to do things for herself.

Speaking of a new baby, a lot of people have asked what we need for her. If you happen to be one of those people and are wondering right now, Lynne' has been going through everything that we have and taking note of what we need. Really, aside from possibly a few articles of clothing perhaps, there isn't much we need. However, Lynne' has been doing some research about babies sleeping and came across this special baby hammock-bed (recomended on the Dr Sears web site). It is not only medically proven to aid babies to sleep longer and better (from ones with colic, preemies, acid reflux, or just fussy babies that like to be held) it looks really comfy and will fit in our house so much easier than the crib that we have, which Lily always hated. Lynne' had a hard time laying Lily down when she was little because she hated to see her cry or be unsafe or be too far away. Now, with a toddler, she won't have the luxury of holding a newborn all the time. Also, what do parents of a newborn need the most? Sleep. So, if you'd like to help us save up for this wonderful sleep invention and were planning on sending us something for the new baby, please make checks payable to the "Tired Parents Who just Got Their Toddler to Sleep Well and Want to have an Easier Time with Their Second Newborn Fund."

Lynné, as always, had many projects going.

The main ones this year, however, seem to be scrapbooking (which is very appreciated by both Youssef and Lily) and her paper artwork. The artwork has been displayed in “The Good Works Gallery” in downtown Spokane (which is closing this December. Look for them at the Lavendar Festival or in other galleries and shops.) Everyone is quite impressed with the pictures’ unique quality. She’s made a few more since putting 6 in the gallery and the new ones have been scanned so that prints can be sold. The prints aren’t as interesting as the originals of course, but will be much more portable and will (hopefully) sell well.
It’s nice for Lynné to be able to do this from home since she has such a busy toddler and another baby on the way. Lily has special scissors that she gets to use when Mommy is working on projects. Right before clean up and snack time, the carpet is usually covered with little pieces of cut paper mingled with toys and cracker crumbs. She usually helps Mommy clean up though (with her own toy vacuum) and most of the time, Daddy comes home to a clean house (but not always). Youssef’s extra-work projects are done mostly on the ride to and from work.
This Christmas season has been lovely so far. We've made Saturday mornings special with family time and belgiun waffles. Lynné is always trying to make everyday things special too, with candles for dinner (that Lily tries to blow out), or a special story with hot chocolate or tea after dinner, and other little things. Lily loves chocolate (calling it “kalk”) and tea (that she can say perfectly!) As a family, we still enjoy going on walks together (even in the cold weather). Now, with the Christmas lights up around the neighborhood, Lily loves to look and gasp at them as we walk or drive by. Besides gasping at each lit house that she sees, she also points and says “PriEe dare” (pretty there), which is so fun to hear – when we are driving, a gasp or exclamation can be heard every minute or so.

The lights and the cookies of the season are more than enough to put yourself in a Christmasy state.

Do remember that the Christmas season comes about because of the Gift God gave us... and in His charge to his saints to "be holy as I am holy," we may offer gifts to each other.

Therefore, we don't just offer gifts to see the smile on the recipient's face. We offer gifts to help them. The smile is the icing on the cookie.

The turkey amendment...

With the second turkey that I bought, I kept forgetting to marinate it the night before. So, it was thawed pretty good, and I needed to get it cooked, but I was afraid it wouldn't turn out well because it wasn't marinated. This is what I did: I just skinned it (hadn't done that before) and then put the honey mustard sauce all over it, cooked it for half the time, poured more all over it when I turned it, and then cooked it for the rest of the time. It turned out EVEN MORE JUICY! AND was easier to do!

So... my turkey-theory last time might not have been accurate... Now, I'm pretty sure it's all in the glaze (which tasted much better without the nasty skin keeping it from sinking into the meat!)

ok.. now I'm hungry and it's dinner time so.. I'll go make food. :)

28 Week Appointment...

Ok... So I had to post this conversation that I had with my mid-wife last Thursday (for Rebekah, Rachel, and Taneisha) it's been bugging me...

She asks me what my weight was and when I told her she gasped, looked shocked, and said, "REALLY?"

"Yeah...." I say rather confused.

"Are you sure?"

".. uh.. yeah.. isn't that ok?"

"Well, if it's ok with you!"

".. umm.. what was my weight last month?"

She tells me and that I'm 11 lbs heavier. I asked what I was supposed to be gaining, and she said only one pound a week... so I've gained a little over 2 lbs a week. I explained that I've been craving sugary things and chocolate, but I actually stopped craving those things about a week ago (I go in shifts as to what food group I'm craving.)

It was just depressing to hear my own midwife talking that way and making my sensitive self feel even more fat than just being pregnant usually makes a woman feel. Afterwards, when I had to do a tiny bit of shopping, it wasn't fun at all when - with everything that I saw - I kept thinking.... "Oh, that might be good--no.. it's fattening.. I'm fat... I shouldn't get that."

Ok.. so I know I shouldn't have let what she said bother me. And maybe she just didn't remember how far along I was as she tried to set me up for another month apointment and realized that I had to start on the two week apointments because I'm at 28 weeks... but... It's just been bothering me and I keep thinking about it... and that I wanted to tell you girls about it.