Cutie!

Lily was asking for more chocolate! On Christmas she got a lot more sweets than usual and as you can see... she enjoyed it! :)

Lily's playing with her new toys... I think she made broccoli tea.

This was really fun. She got some Christmas/birthday money from her great grandfather on Youssef's side and when we were at Walmart to let her pick something out, she didn't seem too thrilled with really anything. A couple things maybe, but then I saw this pony and let her sit on it. I didn't think she'd like it that much, but she was so excited about it that she didn't even want to put it into the cart! Straddling it, she walked it all the way from the back of Walmart to the front to buy it. It took a while for me to explain that she had to sit in her seat belt in the car rather than on the pony and that it was really coming home with us. :) She made me laugh the whole time she walked with it. When you squeeze it's ears it sings and talks and the mouth moves so she pretends to feed it her plastic fruit. So adorable!

There are a few too many toys in our living room now though, so we are going to re-arrange our house to make the back room more usable. Right now we aren't really using it. It's all full of craft things and so forth but I usually bring my sewing machine into the dining room to keep better track of Lily. We are going to be getting rid of some furniture so if anyone around here needs a nice desk for instance there is a free one available! (We originally got it for Youssef's office. I like it better than the one that I'm using now for my computer but it's too big for the space.) Anyway, next time we have friends over there will actually be a place for the kids to play so that the adults can talk! We don't have friends over as much as we'd like.

Christmas highlights!

We woke up pretty early and opened stockings.

(Lily is really into VeggieTales and we read those books many times since Christmas.)

She's also really into cars!

Youssef's favorite gift were some "Heelys" that his adorning wife gave to him (which were terribly hard to find in his size and took much searching on the Internet. But everyone who asks says, wow, how'd you get those? He just says, "My adoring wife.") He's likes taking them for a spin.


For brunch, Lynne' made crepes for the first time (that was also the first time she'd eaten any!)

Fondue was for dinner while we watched "Ratatouille" (quite fitting, n'est-ce pas?)

Lily then serenaded us with her new VeggieTales tape player!

The next day, we went to Lynne's parents house and had Christmas all over again! Lily loved her new stove (with sound effects!)

And Youssef took up a new hobbie--wood burning.

This is another one of those gifts that'll lead to many many new decorations.

Backing up to New Years

A good start to the new year...

As a family, it's not quite right to say we didn't do anything special for New Year's Eve. Instead, we just didn't celebrate 2007 ending. We celebrated 2008 beginning!

One of our Christmas gifts was a small cribbage set. We never really played - each thinking the other had some background in it. Well, we walked out to Starbucks together and played while Lily watched a show and ran around. Actually, we learned how to play

it there, helped just a bit from one of the baristas.

On the way back, Lily fell asleep in her stroller and we rolled her into the house to finish her nap while we made sushi, potstickers, and orange chicken. (Lynne' won two out of the three cribbage games that we played.)

Lily woke up just in time to enjoy the sushi with us. She enjoys sushi just about as much as we do.

A wonderful invention was the club soda. Rather than having pop that has lots of sugar and other things in it we just used juice and club soda. Lily loves the "bubbly juice" too. She grins and says "bubbows" after drinking some.

After the yummy dinner we had some hot chocolate (another favorite).

It was such a nice relaxing day that we wanted to share our simple pleasures on here. The best part was the time we spent together. It really was a great start for our new year.

Birthday party!

Lily awoke to find a jungle of helium balloons to run through!

Then she opened a couple presents

(her favorite Veggietales movie and her princess/cars quilt.)

Then she saw a sheet in the corner that was covering something quite large and when she pulled off the sheet she found a play house!

She liked to go in and out and in and out and in and out....

Mommy had fun decorating the night before!

For lunch, we had one of Lily's favorite meals, one that we've only had a few times: Corn dogs and fries!

Later when the Hathaways came, Arayah and Lily thought the blueberries were pretty yummy.

The angelfood cake was heavenly.

Lily knew just what to do with the cake and candles!

She ate much cake, and the next day, we had the left-overs together, and she said "cake" quite clearly.

This is a picture of Lily ready to go on a walk with her new twin baby dolls from the Hathaways. Once she saw the snow outside and that Daddy was getting her stroller out, she changed plans and just put the babies in the bottom of the big stroller and put the doll stroller back in the house. We walked to Starbucks, and she played while Youssef and I played a game for a while.

I asked her yesterday if she was having a good birthday and she hugged her two new dolls tighter and said "yes" really quietly and happily. It was really sweet. :) Also, today when she saw the Hathaway's christmas picture on our fridge, she pointed at each person and said something that I didn't understand, but I could tell she knew them and was happy about seeing their picture! She had such a girly birthday what with the pink streamers and dolls and play house. All the girls happened to be dressed in pink too! Today, when Youssef and I were walking home from our trip to starbucks we were talking about her fun birthday and how when Renna is born there will be even MORE girls to play with. :) Youssef realized that maybe he should talk to Ryan and set up a monthly man movie night.

Youssef and I realized last night after the party and after Lily had fallen asleep that we'd forgotten to give her one of her presents! She was having so much fun playing with the dolls and other girls and I was working on dinner and we were having such a great time that all of a sudden she was tired and I'd totally spaced about that last present, but we'll give it to her today after her nap.

Lily is TWO!

Lily is two today (I started writing this post on the 4th), and it seems hard to believe sometimes. She's asleep right now in my arms. She slept for half of her nap by herself, and when she woke up, I held her and she fell asleep again (I watched a movie and finished tying a little quilt for her b-day.)

I've been reflecting a lot lately about how she's grown and what she's like. I understand her so much better now than I could when she was under a year. I finished reading a book by Dr. Sears called "Attachment Parenting," which described what I was doing with her all along. I just didn't know it had a name (see askdrsears.com to learn what AP means.) From the beginning, she slept next to me in the night (though I didn't know until now all the medical benefits for newborns that that provides). I nursed her when she asked (she never needed to cry hard or--even at all--most of the time because I responded to her pre-cry signals). I held her as much as I could and talked to her all the time. Her play was quite advanced for her age, and when she wanted to venture out on her own, I'd help her learn to be safely independent (as she ran through our yard at 9 months old).

Some people might think that I held her too much or spoiled her (like you could spoil a newborn who is only asking for their needs to be met,) and for a while, I wondered if she would have slept through the night better if I'd held her less, or maybe be less clingy if I let her get used to being without me more. Now looking back at the last two years, I can see more clearly.

Before she was 6 months old, I could put her in her saucer chair and mow the lawn for an hour before she'd indicate that she was hungry or wanted me. (We have a push lawn-mower. I'd put her outside in the chair, and we'd "chat" while I mowed). After 6 months, she wouldn't let me even go into the kitchen (even though she could see me) without freaking out that I was leaving her.

Okay, so what happened in that sixth month? One day, I went scrapbooking with some friends at Picture Pages (now closed *sigh*), and Youssef came to watch Lily. He put her in the stroller and took her on a walk. We assumed that she'd fall asleep in the stroller as she'd done in the past. Well, for whatever reason, she started to cry. Perhaps she just wanted to be held or maybe she was hungry, I wasn't there so I didn't know what her cry was saying. Youssef assumed that she'd calm down, but she didn't. Her cry became inconsolable because it wasn't listened to right away (Dr. Sears talks about the "crying curve"). Apparently, she'd been crying for an hour in the stroller before Youssef got back, and by the time he'd gotten back, she'd given up crying.

Some people might say that the baby needed to "cry it out," and that she'd get used to going to sleep without help. However, being her mother and caring for her 24-hours everyday for 2 years, I know that she was simply afraid. Her cry was her language, and no one responded. She was alone and didn't know if I'd ever be back or if she'd always be alone. To some children, they might bounce back from an experience like this, but Lily tends to be a more fearful child than some. She's always needed reassurance in new situations, even when she was a few months old. Some might think she's shy, and perhaps she is--I can understand that very well because I'm the same way. I was terribly fearful as a child (and shy much of the time though not always... I think I acted shy more out of fear than actual shyness... or is it the same?) That all seems silly looking back now because my mom stayed at home, and I had no real reason to be afraid. I can remember being 12 and knowing that there wasn't anything in the dark, but I still felt terrified (though I don't think anyone knew of my fear). By then, I'd learned to pray and knew God would protect me from anything. I held onto that and all the little things my Mom would say when I'd had a bad dream "Think about nice things. Like rainbows and kitties..." etc. I say that to Lily just like my Mom talked to me, and it really does seem to calm her in the night when she wakes up from a bad dream.

So, back to the reflection.

Each time I'd push Lily to do something (usually because of random bad advice) that she's not ready to do (like sleeping in her own room instead of with me or in her little bed by ours where she has been), it makes everything harder. It takes lots and lots of patience to allow her the time she needs to make the change without being scared. If I'm not patient, my life becomes so much harder. I'd always wonder if the advicse was really that great if it made everything so much harder. (But she just needs to get used to it, they'd say. But what if I liked how things were, says I.)

However, she is getting old enough now to understand when I tell her I'm going somewhere or need to leave her in her bed to put my PJs on or something and doesn't cry at my leaving anymore. I used to get so frustrated. After all, I'm coming back! I'm right there! What's the big deal? Even so, she didn't understand. To her, I might not ever come back. How could she know and understand concepts like that before?

All of this is mostly a reflection on my part to remember to go with my instincts with my own babies and not listen to people who give me advice when they've never had a child just like mine.

Maybe reading this will help someone to be confident in her mothering and learn to listen to your child's "cry" (even if it's silent). If I remember what I've learned in these past 2 years about listening and communicating, maybe Lily will still feel comfortable coming to me with what is troubling her even when she is 22. I hope that I will listen and respond to her fears and troubles appropriately and she'll know that I'll always be there for her.

And, by God's grace, when Renna is born, I'll learn to understand her baby language and signals too. I wonder what she'll be like? Maybe she'll be more outgoing like Youssef? Or most likely, she'll be her own person just like Lily is uniquely herself.

I'm so much happier when my goal is to understand and communicate well with my child instead of trying to get her to simply obey me or fit into my schedule. (There has to be a little of that, but without trust and understanding, I think it can become an obedience that isn't from the heart, which, isn't true obedience is it?)

And it really is such a fun adventure to discover who your children are, isn't it?